WHO AM I?
And Why Should I Tell You?
This assignment asks me to tell a story about who I am, about the major events in my life that shaped me, and how that made me who I am today. But with all possible graciousness and good will, I’m not going to do that. Telling you who my parents are and where I grew up, and describing in detail my triumphs and tribulations won’t tell you who I am. And in this paper, I’m going to explain why.
It seems to me that the world has become obsessed with these brief, two-second blurbs about people, as if the essence of a person could possibly be captured in three simple facts. “Tell me about yourself,” people say: in school, job interviews, meet and greets, dates - everywhere. But this practice is essentially pointless. I could have written a beautiful story explaining the inner mechanisms of my life, and displaying how my convictions and perceptions color my point of view. But that paper would not have been able to tell you even two percent of who I really am. It falls short in epic proportions. So why should we do it?
Furthermore, regardless of what I say or think about myself, it won’t bind anyone to believe me, or even see me the same way. If I describe myself to you, the esteemed reader of this paper, as a “smart, ambitious, young scientist”, there’s no evidence to to make you trust me. Can I prove to you that my heavy involvement in organizing blood drives stems from a deep desire to help people, eventually as a medical professional? You would just have to take my word for it.
Additionally, no matter how much I may describe myself as a “responsible, driven adult”, it won’t stop my mom from seeing me as her clumsy, messy little baby, my friends from knowing me as a funny, crazy, Temple Run aficionado, and my brother from seeing me as his annoying, bratty little sister. By describing myself to you, I’m not telling you who I actually am. I’m telling you who I think I am. And these are not the same thing. Each person who meets me walks away with a different notion of who they think I am; a notion that fits into their worldview and intellectual framework. My idea of who I am is less important to others compared to their own idea of who I am. So why share my idea in the first place? There would be no great loss if I did not.
Most importantly, however, whether it is my self-view or others’ view of me, why should I identify with any point of view at all? These self-identities are heavily nuanced and forever changing, charged with the subtlety of layers of emotion and intellect. Why should I commit, on paper, to a static identity - a moment frozen in time - that will no longer be true even a few moments later? Who I am is so much more than ideas could possibly describe (no matter how comprehensive). Why should I shackle myself down by labeling myself with a description or a story? With all due respect, I politely refuse to do so.
This being said, I recognize that by the end of this paper, the esteemed reader will gain insight into who they s/he thinks I am. Inevitably, an idea of me would have formed. Maybe the descriptions “rebellious”, or “interesting”, or “can’t do a simple assignment properly” will come to mind. As this labeling, identifying, and categorizing is the natural mechanism for the human mind, I do not begrudge anyone these tools. I even acknowledge them within myself. Yet, every opportunity I am given, I choose not to fall prey to what I see to be supremely limiting behavior, often disguised under the pleasantness of pleasantries.
Thus, I don’t engage in the practice of self-description, nor do I believe that it has much value in our society. Hopefully the logic present throughout this paper has demonstrated the sound reasoning behind this belief. And though I did not present a comprehensive notion of who I am, I will conclude by telling you who I am not.
I am not any idea that any person has come up with, because I am beyond all descriptions, enumerations, quantifications, or qualifications. I am limitless. I am free.